Some thoughts about feeling guilt as a sissy

Guilt is sewn into the very fabric of our world, as though without it everything would fall apart, because without it only anarchy governs. And that, the loss of control, the unpredictable, the ever changing whimsical free will of this forever growing entropy that's devouring Universes  is down right the most terrifying thing we can imagine, and rightfully so, we are creatures of habit, we like our things neatly packed and in order, we relish the comfort of knowing what is going to happen next in a world we built for ourselves on principles of right and wrong.

 But, sometimes, we find ourselves in an situation where what we want is opposing what we've learned is right, and every time we do it, here comes that feeling of guilt because our conscience flags it as being wrong, but what if the very thing that we see as wrong is who we really are and it's absolutely nothing we can do about it?

As a sissy you will many times feel at war with the whole world, you will feel as if everyone and everything is against you, because what you want, because who you are, you think it's wrong. You will purge, you will think this is just some porn addiction, you will think maybe this is just a bad habit, or a fantasy, a kink, that one dirty little secret you keep for yourself on your alone time. And for many this is just it, porn, a kink, a fantasy, a bad habit, but not for you is it? You stopped watching porn, you have a balanced life, everything you do should make you feel as a real man, you are respected by your peers, everything is right in your life, you only do the healthy choices, but, somewhere, inside you, there's always this voice, there's this impulse, this urge, this need, this image of you, that it's best kept locked right?  

Let's imagine a man, nothing fancy, average height, average build, maybe a beard, stereotypical male clothes, let's name him, I'll call him Joe, you call him whatever you like. You have a mental picture of Joe? Great! Now I want you to think about a dim lighted empty room in which you are sitting on a comfy couch, you feel happy, you feel relaxed. In front of you there is a large one-way mirror, on the other side of the mirror you can see your bedroom, on your bed, you see a woman, she is watching something on a laptop or a phone, she is wearing casual clothes, she seems calm, when suddenly there's is a knock on the door, followed by Joe storming into the room, you can see he is angry, he goes right next to her, he is standing next to the bed, pointing at her, you hear him yell, but you don't understand what he's saying, but he seems very upset about something, and has an overly aggressive body language. She is silent, at first she looked him in the eyes, but now she's staring down at the linen, she stopped listening to him, he picks up on that, raises his hands up, bangs with a closed fist into a wall, points a last time at her, yelling something, then, as he entered the room, he leaves, slamming the door.

How did that made you feel? Do you feel sorry about the woman? You wish you could have done something, don't you? Unfortunately for Joe and Jane there's nothing that can be done, but there is for you.

 We all have a masculine and a feminine energy, but no one can ever have just 100% of either one, so when you feel that you have more of the opposite energy what is your first response? You attack it, because you shouldn't have those feelings, ideas, mannerisms, you were raised to be a man, not a girly girl, then why do you feel as one? That is absurd, that is wrong, right? Well, no. Have you ever looked at a woman and just said, she is just wrong, based on the fact that she was born a female, and acts as one? Again, no, because it's normal. Have you seen a woman dress like a man, and act like a man, and think to yourself, she is just wrong, what is she thinking, again, no. But when it comes to a man dressed as a girl, as a woman, you immediately judge that, and think it's wrong? Why? And most of all, when it comes to you, why would you be so negative and against about this part of yourself? She is a part of you, as much you are a part of her, and in fact there is no her and him, it's just you. And you are amazing just the way you are, no matter what, and for that you owe it to yourself to love yourself or learn to love yourself, because until you come at peace within, there will never be a winner, in a war with ourselves, nobody comes out the other side as victorious, because the part you have to pay is you.